Bad days

**** TRIGGER WARNING ****

I seem to be having more bad days than good just recently and I’m just feeling so tired! In fact, tired is an understatement, I’m exhausted! Emotionally, physically. I’m struggling to see it getting better and I’m struggling to find the motivation for making it better but feeling guilty that I’m not trying. I hate this! So I have picked up the phone and made my doctors appointment.

I came off my antidepressants a few months ago (with my doctor) but I think it was too soon. I feel like I am back at square one again and I can’t keep doing this. I want to move forward, to have more good days than bad and feel better. I know I’ll never be 100% well and I’m okay with that, I’m okay with the fact that I am different to who I used to be. That a massive change has happened inside me, inside my mind. But I want to feel almost normal again.

I am also going to ask about counselling again and actually attend more than one session. That’s my mammoth task done for the day.

I’ll leave you with one of my latest poems below.

Amy xx

“This constant battle inside my mind.
War and destruction is all I find.
Emotions running high
With no real reason why.
When you really have it all.
But you put up the brick wall.
Let it all slide.
Find somewhere to hide.
And make it all stop……..”

-NAMHBlog