Category: Writing

Finally feeling more positive

8CC44BDF-16C7-4A3C-8F60-BCF1C2430E08It’s been a little while since I posted so I thought it was time to update you with my journey. I was out on sertraline on Friday after my visit to my GP but unfortunately I had an allergic reaction to it over the weekend so I was back at the docs yesterday! I have been given some antihistamines and been prescribed citalopram, which I have used previously. I have to allow time for the reaction to settle but I can start the new tablets one Friday.

I have to say though I am already feeling like a weight has been lifted by just seeking the help I need. My boss has also been great and given me this week off to recover a bit. I have beautiful friends who totally understand and have been so supportive and my husband is just the best. So is my son who understands mommy is poorly, we have explained to him in a way a 5 year old can understand.

I urge anyone who is struggling to keep talking and keep seeking that help. It’s out there!

I’ll leave you with a poem I wrote for my son tonight.

Amy xx

“Oh, how I could lie here all night
Staring at your sweet, baby face
The innocence dancing up on it
In the flickering moonlight”

-NAMHBlog

Bad days

134E6163-B77B-4F80-899D-FDEB05142632**** TRIGGER WARNING ****

I seem to be having more bad days than good just recently and I’m just feeling so tired! In fact, tired is an understatement, I’m exhausted! Emotionally, physically. I’m struggling to see it getting better and I’m struggling to find the motivation for making it better but feeling guilty that I’m not trying. I hate this! So I have picked up the phone and made my doctors appointment.

I came off my antidepressants a few months ago (with my doctor) but I think it was too soon. I feel like I am back at square one again and I can’t keep doing this. I want to move forward, to have more good days than bad and feel better. I know I’ll never be 100% well and I’m okay with that, I’m okay with the fact that I am different to who I used to be. That a massive change has happened inside me, inside my mind. But I want to feel almost normal again.

I am also going to ask about counselling again and actually attend more than one session. That’s my mammoth task done for the day.

I’ll leave you with one of my latest poems below.

Amy xx

“This constant battle inside my mind.
War and destruction is all I find.
Emotions running high
With no real reason why.
When you really have it all.
But you put up the brick wall.
Let it all slide.
Find somewhere to hide.
And make it all stop……..”

-NAMHBlog